How I long to love like Jesus! He loves without reservation and without reason. He loves you freely! He loves you without expectation. He doesn’t manipulate you to love him. He just loves you!
His love comes whether you love him or not. No bribery, no gifts, no hold outs or ignores. No ghosting and no manipulation. No giving it to others and not you. In life and in death, He loves you! In your past, present and future.
His Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I want to love without expectation, but I’ve been hurt. I want to love without reservation, but I don’t trust easily. I want to love without being manipulative, but I’ve manipulated. I want to love freely, just letting the people I love know how much they mean to me and not expecting anything in return. I want to be loved like I love. I want to be shown love, like I show love. But that’s impossible! Because I am the only one like me. God made no one like me, just me. His Masterpiece!
Not expecting the same kind of love from others is really hard for me to fathom. I think if I give love at a level I’m comfortable with, others should meet or exceed that level. But they don’t, so I’m disappointed. Then I think there’s something wrong with me. I feel unworthy, undeserving, undesirable. Those worldly feelings. The feelings the world tells me I should be feeling. So that I will continue to search for that kind of love in materialistic, selfish, sinful ways.
But I’m God’s Child! His Best! His Masterpiece! My identity is a Child of God! He calls me worthy, deserving and desirable. Those are the attributes that count here on earth and in eternity. I strive to remember those titles daily and make them what I call myself, as well as what others will call me! My circle of people call me by those attributes! They see what God sees! They see God in me!
But it will always be a struggle because I live in a world of sin. A world that glamorizes self-doubt so that I buy into its products that do nothing for my life, but make me more miserable. Therefore, I will always need Jesus! I will always want to feel his kind of love over me and through me. I will always rely on him through prayer to get me through trouble times and praise Him, no matter the outcome.
Please forgive me for feeling less than you created me to be. Remind me of who I am and who I belong to. I am yours. Help me to love like you even when I feel unloved, even when I feel undesired, even when I feel unworthy, even when I feel lost, even when I feel ghosted, even when I feel manipulated, even when I feel like giving up on love, even when I feel I’ve given all I can and can’t give anymore, even when I feel I have nothing, even when I feel like I give more than the other person, even when I feel incomplete. Help me to remember that love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Love is YOU, Lord! Help me to remember your relentless love. In Jesus name, Amen!