I have been dealing with some right leg pain recently. I’ve been working with my Doctor, my Coach Demetrius Farrior at www.dfittransformation.com to get it back to normal. But praying to God for a miracle.
Worship is my favorite thing at church. I dance and sing loudly (I really can sing). I lift my hands and sway. I get so caught up in His presence, I just love it. But today, It was hard. It was hard to stand, to sway, to move. I had to hang onto the chairs in front of me. I could only lift one hand instead of two. I couldn’t dance. But I still sang loudly. I thought about sitting down and raising my hands, but I told myself, “No!” I remember my mom stood up in church until she couldn’t any longer. She even stood when she had a walker. So sitting was a ‘No” for me.
During the next song, I stood still and leaned forward on the chair in front of me so I could raise both hands. I felt God’s loving spirit on me and he whispered, “I know your heart. I know your worship. Worship me however you can.” I felt his grace upon me, letting me know he knows me and how much he loves me. That he would know my worship without my dance, hands raised or loud singing. I would worship Him because I love Him and trust Him with my life. It brought me to tears. At that moment, I knew I was His.
Reflecting on this, is a reminder to grace myself in my healing. I push myself and I’m impatient. I want my old self back. But if God, my Doctor and my Coach graces me, then I need to grace myself. I need to take time to heal. I need to show myself self care and live the journey. So that I can worship in the moment and live in God’s grace more abundantly.