To die is gain!

I have not lost, I have gained.

Philippians 1:21-22a (NIV)

21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.  22a If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. 

Over the past month, I’ve encounter an end, a loss, let go, a resignation and a possibility.  Each thing representing something that I loved or wanted to love. Each thing having a specific meaning with time and space in my life.

In my singleness, I’ve learned to become independent. I’ve learned to rely on myself with God’s help.  Taking care of children, a house, a car, finances, serving others, friendships……always putting others first.  When faced with the upside downness of the past month, I realize that each of these things have taken my independence away and made me more dependent on God.

I have prayed and studied God’s word and put things aside to pursue God more and more.  I have been happier and found more joy in my sorrow and pain than at any other time in my life.  For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.  If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. (Philippians 1:21-22a)  I desire to be closer to God and learn how He wants me to live and who He wants me to be for this season of my life.  He has sent each of these situations to me to gain perspective, discipline, consistency, motivation and love.

I want to be wanted, chosen, cared for, loved, respected and pushed.    In each situation, God has shown me that even when something is worldly lost, gone, done or taken, He is still here, waiting, wanting,  pursuing, loving, providing, protecting. I have not lost, I have gained. I have gained more with Him than I can ever gain with another person, job, or success.  I have gained love, joy, peace, mercy, grace and everlasting life! Nothing I could ever gain with a person, job or success. Therefore, I have gained it all! I have gained Jesus!  I have won!

Waiting for Love

First of all, I’m not an expert.  I’m a failure at love. I am divorced from a failed marriage I chose to be in a long time ago.  But over the years, I’ve learned a lot of different things about love and about myself that has helped me to believe that it exists for me again.

 

 

  • Find out who God is and what He believes about you.-True Love

 

Your Heavenly Father loves you.  He created you just the way you are, but you can’t live without him and have the kind of love you desire or have the peaceful relationship you crave.  He gives you your heart’s desire. Psalm 37:4-7 -Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.  Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. (NIV) He wants the best for you, His best.  Why would you want anything less? Why would you settle?  Don’t settle! God has His best waiting for you and praying for you! Pray for your spouse, the one God is preparing just for you.  Be expectant, prepare yourself! Let God’s word speak into your life, so that when trouble comes, you and your spouse can overcome knowing God has put you together and will help you through any trouble because you both believe in God’s love, His word and His peace in your lives.  God is the only one who can fill the void you are feeling in your life right now. Let Him fill you with His love.

 

 

  • Find out who you are and what you believe about yourself. -Self-Love

 

Question yourself.  What are your likes and dislikes?  Learn to say NO! Do something you like!  STOP pleasing people! Please yourself! Make a checklist: likes/dislikes.  Go on adventures! Travel! Workout! Hangout with friends, true friends! Be your own Cheerleader.   All these things I’ve done and am continuing to do. It takes time. Be patient! You will learn to love yourself and find new loves about you.  You will not be able to sit still and think about anything else because you will be so busy planning what you are going to do next. How exciting!!

 

 

  • Find out what you love to do and are good at and do that!-Purpose

 

Maybe you’re in the wrong profession, maybe you need to add a profession, maybe you have a hobby you can turn into a profession.  Or maybe you love your profession and you can turn your hobby into a second profession. Ask God what His purpose for your life is. Knowing God and knowing His purpose for your life helps everything fit together.

 

 

  • Set goals and accomplish them

 

One goal or ten, you decide!  But make sure they are YOUR goals.  They are for you first! And not to get a guy/girl.  Real goals! Purposed goals! YOU goals! Short-term or long-term goals! You decide!

 

 

  • Dream

 

Dream BIG!  Whatever you’ve always wanted!  No matter how ridiculous, crazy, silly or annoying!  Dream that! Be that!

 

Set yourself up for a successful relationship by believing in God, having faith in yourself and no matter what happens:  you’re going to be just fine! You’re gonna love YOU and God’s best for you will see just that!

 

Advice Through the Decades

I have only lived four actual decades, but I’m starting on my fifth.  When thinking about what got me through each one, I thought I would share them with you.

Decade one:  Believe in who you are!  You have great abilities that you don’t even know about yet.  Just do you and trust in God’s plans for your life.

Decade two:  It’s okay to be different!  Follow your own path and heart!  You are made for greatness. Just do you and trust in God’s plans for your life.

Decade three:  Life is hard. Sometimes you already know what decision you need to make before you actually make it.  Set goals and go after them no matter who is against you. Always believe in yourself. Just do you and trust in God’s plans for your life.

Decade four:  Dream! Dream BIG!  Let God change your heart to serve others, not yourself.  Don’t be materialistic! Share your stories with others. Become a light in the darkness so that others can find their way.  Just do you and trust in God’s plans for your life.

Decade five:  Have fun! PLAY!  Believe you are created for much more than where you are and what your doing now!  Believe in people, not things. Create an environment in your life that invites others to want what God has placed inside of you.  Set goals bigger than what you could ever hope to accomplish on your own because you know that God will go BIG on you! Just do you and trust in God’s plans for your life.

As the decades grow, so does the advice.  It grows because your wisdom has grown. You know more, therefore you can accomplish more and create more.  I pray that you will have many years to know how much God loves you and wants to create in you great advice to give to others who will need it.  Just do you and trust in God’s plans for you life!

Finding Happy!

People look their whole lives for happiness.  But I believe it is inside us our whole lives.  Silly, I know. But look how we strive to do things, be things and accomplish things never to find happy.  Money isn’t it, love isn’t it, family isn’t it, our job isn’t it, what could it be?

Finding happy happens when we’ve lived long enough to look back and see how far we’ve come.  When we can see how we’ve changed, how we’ve lived, who has come and gone purposely in our lives, what we thought was important and what is important now.  

Striving to find happy takes up our whole being and life.  If we strive to find happy, we miss out on a whole bunch of things where happiness would be found.  Your purpose is attached to your happy. If you have found your purpose, you have found your happy. It is not materialistic.  It is found deep in your soul where only God can fill it.

I hope one day you find your happy.  I have found mine and I have lived half of a full life, some good parts and some not so good.  But I found that finding happy is attached to my purpose. Being a Teacher, Author, Parent and Writer are all connected to the people God needs me to meet and connect with.  And before I became all these things, I wasn’t truly happy.  I had to become all of them to appreciate what it meant to find happy.  All these things together make up me and who God created me to be and who He created me to help and to help me.

Stop searching and waiting  for happy, let it find you. It will!  Until then, live your life. Do things that bring you joy!  Spend it with people who bring you joy! And one day without you even realizing it, happy will find you!