Poem by Lola Brooks
Too quiet to speak,
No words can express the pain.
There’s no one to tell,
you were my one,
Now I’ve lost you.
I did the wrong thing,
I said something wrong.
I’d take it back,
but it’s too late.
I carry the silence within,
no one knows me like you.
There’s no one to share it with,
you won’t talk to me and
I can’t make it go away.
There is no way around it. It just does. Not all the time, but just today in my Teacher life!
I love my kids each year with all my heart. I give and give and give and give so much of myself to them each day. I have high expectations for them such as following the rules, being respectful, getting along with others. Most days they get it. But today, they didn’t. And I felt defeated and unloved and done.
When school was over, I went to find my best friend and get a hug. We talked and prayed and thought of strategies to change their bad behaviors. I went home drank a chai latte, strong coffee and ate chocolate chips. I began to write my bible lesson for Friday’s Bible Club at school. It’s on the Love Chapter: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. And I decided to be honest in my blog. Usually for Valentine’s Day, I will write something encouraging and lovely. But this year, this just seemed fitting.
Worldly Love isn’t always lovely. It isn’t always joyous. It isn’t always kind. It is mean and rude. It is sad and relentless. It is disappointing and cruel. It is of the world, not of God.
God’s Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, 5 never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. 6 It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. 7 If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him. (The Living Bible)
I strive to be like Him, but I always fall short as we all do. We are not perfect like God, so there is no way we could ever love like God. We should always strive to do so, though. We shouldn’t give up just because one day sucks or we feel we failed.
I realize that I just gave myself a pep talk and advice. Which happens a lot, by the way. Sometimes I’m my only cheerleader. I know that I will go back to school tomorrow and love on my kids and many days after that. I know tomorrow will be different as are all the other days to come. Days will turn into months and months into years and a different crowd of kids will be raised and loved by an awesome Teacher.
But today,.today………….. Love Sucks!