Finding Joy


Finding Joy came about when my virtual trainer, D from DFIT ,( suggested I text him everyday with a joy I had found within my day. During this pandemic (2020), I was always stressed and filled with anxiety. This type of therapy helped me and is still helping me through difficult times in my life by looking at my whole day and finding that 1 thing that made me smile, laugh, feel grateful, loved, appreciated. It might be a place, a person, or thing. It might be something I saw, did or experienced. You will find raw footage in these posts. I hope they bring you peace and to know you are not alone.

On my walk, I found beautiful flowers growing amongst the dead leaves. They reminded me that there is still growth among the pain, sadness, hardship, death and it’s beautiful. My shadow reminded me of my beautiful growth and that all beauty takes time and still grows among the thorns.

Today I found joy in my classroom. Children building ramps to test force and motion with different inclines. It was fun watching them learn while they played and being their best Teacher ever! 😊

Today I found joy in listening to my kiddos read to me, their parents and each other on our zoom meeting. They have grown so much in reading! I am so proud of them! And I spent the day with my grandson. We played board games(we’re very competitive) and Mad Libs! (we love to laugh)
I spent all day with the people I love the most! DFIT, colleagues, kiddos and family!😊💖

I find joy today in the beautiful weather you suggested during my walk. I kept seeing my shadow and thinking, “Damn girl, you look good! I am so hard on myself because progress is slow to me because I see myself all the time. I call myself names and put myself down. I cover up what I’m ashamed of and make excuses for it.
I am beautiful! And I need to realize that!

I found joy today putting names of my students on these stockings to hang up in the classroom. Doing things for others make me happy. Also, I found joy during my walk this afternoon when I realized that my outside walks are more for my mental health than my physical health. I look forward to them.

I found joy today when I realized I can go to bed early if I want to, like now! 😴

I found joy today in paying all my bills, shopping Christmas for my family and baking pies.

I found joy today spending time with my family, especially my girls and cooking with my sister. Just the time we needed. It did feel different after they left. I usually leave with them. But it was a good day. My mom and dad would be proud of us!

I found joy today in spending time with my daughter at her place, rubbing her feet while we watched a movie together. (our thing) But if I’m being honest today, I felt alone. Not lonely. My season of aloneness requires me to be in a new place that’s not really mine. I’ve always had mine. To be without my kids. It’s always been us. To take down walls that protect my heart from being hurt. It’s always been protected. To share things with my mom and agree with my dad, only to find no one there. To look strong on the outside but feel mushy on the inside. And this is just Thanksgiving break, lol. Christmas break is longer. In tears now. It’s probably just what I needed. I seem to hold things in. Realistically, none of those things have anything to do with Covid!
Having no control and fully trusting is not my strong suit.
But don’t love me any less now that you know!
Prayers always needed.❤

I found joy today in worshipping at Church. Letting go and letting God do his thang with me felt awesome. I got a tree for my room and decorated it with my family’s favorite ornaments. It’s starting to feel like mine.

I found joy today in reminding myself that I’m doing my best and the kids are learning, slowly,😳 but learning. I held back from fussing at them today several times. I want to enjoy them while they are with me. And encourage them to try and not give up. I want them to know I’m so proud of them. I’m willing to grow too.

I’ve been sitting here really thinking about where I would have been joyous today. I mean, I didn’t work out even after I got dress to because I felt tired. So I went back to sleep, even though I knew I would regret it. Which made me frustrasted all day because I had no energy. The kids talked out of turn and played during class instead of learning. My assistant was pulled into another class, so I had no one to fall back on. I didn’t drink enough water or get to pee. I had to plan with my grade level the whole afternoon and not be with my students. Then go straight to tutoring 3rd grade students in Math. Once home, I got an email stating how all of our online platforms should look the same as this fabulous one they shared and we can no longer sing in class. It’s also my dad’s birthday in heaven!
But if I had to choose 1 moment, it would be waking up this morning with breath in my lungs, knowing I get to go to bed tonight and by God’s grace wake up again tomorrow. I have HOPE!

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