Love Sucks

There is no way around it.  It just does. Not all the time, but just today in my Teacher life!

I love my kids each year with all my heart.  I give and give and give and give so much of myself to them each day.  I have high expectations for them such as following the rules, being respectful, getting along with others.  Most days they get it. But today, they didn’t. And I felt defeated and unloved and done.

When school was over, I went to find my best friend and get a hug. We talked and prayed and thought of strategies to change their bad behaviors.  I went home drank a chai latte, strong coffee and ate chocolate chips. I began to write my bible lesson for Friday’s Bible Club at school. It’s on the Love Chapter:  1 Corinthians 13:4-7. And I decided to be honest in my blog. Usually for Valentine’s Day, I will write something encouraging and lovely. But this year, this just seemed fitting.  

Worldly Love isn’t always lovely.  It isn’t always joyous. It isn’t always kind.  It is mean and rude. It is sad and relentless. It is disappointing and cruel.  It is of the world, not of God.

God’s Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, 5 never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. 6 It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. 7 If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him. (The Living Bible)

I strive to be like Him, but I always fall short as we all do.  We are not perfect like God, so there is no way we could ever love like God.  We should always strive to do so, though. We shouldn’t give up just because one day sucks or we feel we failed.

I realize that I just gave myself a pep talk and advice.  Which happens a lot, by the way. Sometimes I’m my only cheerleader. I know that I will go back to school tomorrow and love on my kids and many days after that.  I know tomorrow will be different as are all the other days to come. Days will turn into months and months into years and a different crowd of kids will be raised and loved by an awesome Teacher.

But today,.today………….. Love Sucks!

Book Released!

Finally, my book, ” You Are Wonderfully and Beautifully Made” is in print. You may now go to https://www.amazon.com/dp/1790112540 and order your copy. There is also an eBook copy for your electronic device: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KWLTD4B

Love 2019

It began with Love, when God created the world and it will end with Love, when God returns and Heaven becomes our home.

Love rules the earth and the Heavens.  It overtakes our lives if we let it in.  I began to learn to love again this past year. (2018)  I found the love of best friend and a lost love. After many years of blocking love with a wall I built to protect me from getting hurt, two people were sent to me to show me the love I deserve and wanted.  

I am grateful to God for always loving me and showing me unconditional love.  For bringing new loves into my life and proving that it still exists in the right people that He chooses to send.  But remember, you must be discerning and receptive to receive this love. It doesn’t always come the way you think it might. Thank you, God!

I am grateful to my loves who bring such joy to my life.  Showing me how to receive love has been their greatest gift to me.  I have always given love, but receiving it has been a little hard because of past mistakes.  Opening up, taking down my wall, becoming submissive and enjoying their love has made me a better person.  Thank you, loves!

In 2019, My one word is Love!  I choose the give and receive love.  I want those I love to know I love them.  I will overly love them because our days aren’t promised, even though my coffee thinks I’ll live forever. lol  

Learn to love God who loves you even if you don’t love Him.  Learn to love yourself even if you don’t. Find ways to change that without looking for others to do it for you.  Love for yourself should only come from you. Your happiness is just that: Yours. No one can make you happy, only you.  When others see your happiness for yourself, they’ll want you. But you can’t make them happy either. They must find happiness for themselves.  And when you come together, It’s a whole lot of love and happiness for yourselves and those who you give it to.

Grow together, love together, lean on each other together, have fun together, make memories together, build a life together.  Love, just let it in!

 

One Word 2019

Jesus loves us with no strings attached.  I wanna be like that! Our purpose is to love others the way we want others to love us.  Unconditional, like Jesus loves us. Strive for that! In 2019, that’s my One Word—-Love!

In thinking of my goals for the coming year, I’ve been thinking how I like to be treated: consistent respect, loved unconditionally, forgiven, carried, hugged, positive encouragement, having a growth mindset, cheerleader, always believing, always hoping, always loving, never giving up, striving, changing for the better.

I make goals starting in August because I am a Teacher.  I have 6 goals that run from 2018-2020, short-term goals.  I have 5 out of 6 goals running  right now simultaneously   because they all fit together and I’m a very blessed and favored girl.   All of these goals are not out of selfish intent. These are goals affect other people as well as myself.

  1. Begin to pay off debt (starting in 2019)
  2. Get books published and write new ones (started)
  3. Become healthier in spirit, mind and body (started)
  4. Love my students and help them love learning (started)
  5. Fall in love with my best friend (started)
  6. Start National Board Certified Teacher Program (started)

Within each goal, are smaller goals that help these big goals seem not so big.  Things that I need to do to accomplish each goal. It may seem I’m a type A, but it helps me know what needs to be done.  

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While accomplishing these goals, I am asserting my One Word—Love!  Love for myself and others, but I need to be make sure I’m aware of my love for myself and others as the year progresses.  I need to be intentional. I need to be patient. I need to stop overthinking situations. I need to forgive myself and others and move on when it’s not returned or accepted.  I need to not put people in categories; we are all God’s children. I need to encourage, be inspirational, supportive and show compassion.

Goals help us to accomplish what we deem important to us and therefore, become important to those who matter.

 

A Change of Heart

These last couple of weeks have been very challenging at my house.  First, the washer breaks and doesn’t work anymore.  So we have been taking our laundry to my mom’s or the laundry mat.  Second, (this week) the toilet got stopped up and flushes but doesn’t go down.  Yuck.  Third, Friday morning, there was a rooster walking around our yard and was scared off by the dog next door.  Lastly, (so far), my daughter called and I left school earlier than usual, because she couldn’t get her keys out of the ignition.  This was an easy fix:  the car wasn’t put into gear before turning off.

Whew!!!!    As a human being, I think I’m entitled to get mad, upset, frustrated, stressed out or worried.  But as a child of God, I know that I don’t have to do or feel any of those things.  And I didn’t.  Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?  Matthew 6:27  

All of the credit goes to God!  Before 2012, I would have been livid.  Fussing and cussing up a storm.  Raising so much cane that they could have heard me in Australia.  But now, I take it to God. I can’t change what happened and I can’t make it go away.  So I ask God for guidance and discernment.  He either fixes it or gives me the wisdom and the resources needed to help with the problems that arise.  I can’t do it on my own.  I need Him and the strength and love and grace and mercy and comfort and peace He gives me.  It is enough for me.  It’s just what I need at the time I need it.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:7

I had a Change of Heart.  It’s a work in progress.  I will never be complete until I reach my home in Heaven.  I’m glad God has patience with me because this has been a long ride.  I’m glad he never gives up, stops loving me, or pursuing me.  I’m glad he’s on my side and moves me forward.  I’m thankful that He died for me because He thinks I’m worth it.  I grateful for His wisdom and discernment that keeps me grounded and helps me move through this life.  

If I didn’t have God, my life and my heart would be different.  I love my life and the people who are in it.  Let God change your heart and your circumstances won’t be out of your control!

 

Happy Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a day where love is shown, but everyday should be a day we show our love.  Love should not be saved for special days.  It should be something we do all the time, without thinking and without expecting something in return.  

1 Corinthians 13 is scripture that is referenced to when talking about love.  I grew up knowing it was the “Love Chapter” and my mom made me memorize it.  I want you to re-read the verses and replace your name where the word “Love” is.  Can you say you really know how to love?

3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.  Love doesn’t strut,  Doesn’t have a swelled head,  Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. (The Message)

True love only comes from God.  He is the one who loves unconditionally.  He loves us unconditionally.  If we are following God and learning His ways, we should also strive to love unconditionally.  Love is shown in many different ways:  a smile, touch, hug, candy, flowers, dinner, phone call, note, letter, text, voicemail, time, etc.  Let someone know how much you love them today, because you are not promised tomorrow.

Whom Not to Love

Usually I write something fluffy about Love before Valentine’s Day, but I decided it was time to come clean.  Being transparent is one of the hardest things to do, but if it helps someone else or points people in the right direction, that’s a story I want to tell.

Let’s talk about Online Dating Scams!  If you have ever been contacted on a social media website to have a conversation with another person whom you might be interested in, it could be an online dating scam.  Maybe not always, but of the three conversations I’ve had with gentlemen over a social media site, it was always true.

The first time, the conversations lasted about a week before he asked me for money and that he loved me.  I told him he was crazy and that I was not sending him money.  I reported him to the social media site and blocked him.  He claimed he was in the military. He was widowed and had a child living the states with his aunt.  So sad.  He had stolen someone else’s pictures as his own and they found out.

The second time, I was a little weary but I was curious to see what would happen.  I know, curiosity killed the cat.  But I was curious anyway.  I had my wall up, so I just went along with it.  We talked for about 2 weeks before he wanted me to transfer money for him through my bank.  Yeah, right!  I told him, NO! He kept asking in different ways, but my answer remained the same.  One day, he asked me in a way like I had already sent him money before, then I knew that not only was he trying to scam me but was also scamming other people while talking to me.  So sad.  He talked about being a widow and about his kids.  No conscience at all.  I reported him to the same social media site and blocked him.  I also reported him to the FBI because I realized this happens a lot and they need to know the names of these folks.

The third time and last time,(still curious, I mean really, 3 in a row?) I conversed with someone who claimed to be in the military overseas.  He was a widow and had a young child living in the states.  It only took a week before he asked me to send him a $50 gift card.  Really?  First he asked me if I had a credit card.  I told him that I didn’t discuss money with people I don’t know.  But he just wouldn’t quit.  Then he outright asked me for the gift card after, of course, he told me he loved me twice.  Really?  I told him that he couldn’t love me, he doesn’t even know me!  So, I reported him to the same social media site, the FBI and blocked him.

Please, Please, Please don’t fall for these people.  I pray that you will be able to discern the difference between them and the ones who are true.  If you can’t, please don’t have anyone!  It’s not worth it.  With all these social media sites, it’s really easy to be drawn in to want to talk to someone and see if there is a way to become friends or be in a relationship.  But not at the cost of your life and financial freedom.  They don’t deserve you!

There are signs to avoid an online dating scam:  BEWARE!

  1. They say they love you, but they’ve never met you.
  2. They want to get off the social media site and message you directly.
  3. They are working outside the states or traveling overseas.
  4. They are single with children or widowed with children who are living in the states.
  5. They act like they are interested in getting to know you, but eventually ask you to send them money by credit card, gift card or wire transfer through your bank.

Love is out there, but not this way!  Find someone you can meet face to face, talk to a long time and pray for your future.  They are not on social media, they just maybe around the corner.  You just haven’t run into them yet.

Please check out these online dating scam articles:

1. https://www.fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices/sandiego/news/press-releases/fbi-warns-of-online-dating-scams

2. https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/types-of-scams/dating-romance

3. https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2017/07/20/fbi-says-internet-romance-scams-rise/485311001/

Article References:

1. Special Agent Davene Butler, (February 11, 2016)

2.  ScamWatch.gov.au, ACCC

3. Kellie Ell, USA Today, Published 1:27 p.m. ET July 20, 2017 | Updated 4:16 p.m. ET Nov. 29, 2017