Why I Stopped Praying for my Future Husband

Two years ago, I started feeling attractive.  (What?) A nice gentleman and I started talking and I felt that I might be ready to get married again in the near future.  He used the words, “Godly Wife”. So I started reading Proverbs 31 and following groups on Facebook and Instagram to figure out what that even was.

Being a Christ-follower, I spoke to my Heavenly Father first.  I remember making this big long list of things I wanted and didn’t want.  I put it under my pillow and prayed over it every night before bed. Then I started following this group that taught me how to pray and what to pray for a future spouse.  It was great. I read the scriptures and prayed the prayers for a year. It became hard. I became obsessed and confused thinking I was already good enough and ready. Asking, “When is my time? Why not me?  Is he the one?

I even took a really good paid course on becoming and finding my future husband.  The course work was hard because it made me dig deeper into my prayer life and who my Heavenly Father is and how becoming “the one” is just as important as finding “the one”. My long list became a short list.  My short list includes: God, Protector, Provider, Lover and Best Friend. It was a great course. I’m glad I did it and I recommend it.

But like I said, I became obsessed.  I thought about it all the time. I wanted it to happen when I wanted it to happen and with who I wanted it to happen with.  I would just look at a guy and say, “Maybe he’s the one.” I would even look for a wedding ring.  

So I decided to close that season of my life because it took me away from who I am and who I want to be.  I hadn’t worried about what my life should look like or who I should be with for a very long time. I have God and my family, a career I love and a wonderful purpose given by God.  I am complete. I was making a mountain out of a molehill. I was creating chaos in my peaceful life. Worrying about things that are out of my control. So no more praying for my future husband.

If God blesses me with another someone, then I will wait and let it be a surprise.  I love surprises!

Stay True to Self

When a new year comes, there are so many things we notice about ourselves, that we consider changing everything about us.  We consider changing our physical selves as well as our outlook.

Sometimes in the process, we lose the purpose or reason why we thought we needed to change in the first place.  Are we really that bad of a person that we need to change our whole self? Inside and out?  Should our thoughts and actions meet someone else’s approval?

You were created by a Heavenly Father who made you fearfully and wonderfully.  He chose you to be the way you are:  His!  We grow in and out of God throughout our lives trying to fit the standards of what other people think we should be or act.  If we would just Stay True to Self, you know, the one God created us to be, then we wouldn’t need to fix whatever we think isn’t right with our lives.

Be honest with yourself.  Who are you changing for?  Is it just you or someone else?  What are you trying to prove?  Who are you trying to prove it to and why?  If you feel you need to change, you need to ask God to help you and make sure it’s for you and Him.  God can help you discern what you need to change and why.

Staying true to self is hard work!  You have to believe in yourself and who God created you to be.  You have to have high standards and stand by them.  You have to ask God to guard your heart and body from people who want to change you into the standard of the world.  You have to have morals, character and Don’t Settle!

You are too precious to God to think you are less than His Princess.  He loves you just the way you are!

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  Psalm 139:14-16 NIV