Happy Father’s Day Single Parents

It is inevitable that I write this single parent post on Father’s Day.  I had so many friends and family remind me of my role as a single parent mother/father in my children’s lives.  Not to take away from the father’s who are in their children’s life, but to stand up for the mom’s who are the ONLY caretaker in their children’s lives.

I celebrate Mother’s Day with a passion, I deserve that as a mom.  But I, as a single parent, earned the responsibility to also celebrate Father’s Day.  Where there is no other parental support, such as physical or financial, I appreciate the thought and support that family and friends give me as a single parent.

I applaud all single parents.  It is a hard road to travel. But when you decide your children are the most important thing in your life, you will stop at nothing to protect, insure, provide, love and care for them.  With or without support from others, you can make it. In fact, you can’t see it any other way. You will make it happen.

I know that even though I had no physical or financial support from their dads, I made it work.  I fought for them, worked several jobs at a time, went back to school, sacrificed things and never gave in or up.  I had family and friends who helped me tremendously and a Heavenly Father who looked after us all the time, protected us and provided for us when things looked impossible.

I would have never made it without my Heavenly Father.  He has never left me or my children. He watches over us, protects us and provides for us even now that they are young adults.  He loves us and wants the best for us. He has never stopped giving us what we needed.

I/We have a Dad/Papa that is celebrated on Father’s Day.  He is loved and adored by his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  I appreciated him for loving us and making me into a strong independent mom. His work ethic and teaching us to take care of ourselves has helped me grow into the person that allowed me to stand strong during my single parenthood.

Thank you single parents for standing strong during the time when your children need it the most.  Thank you for working hard and teaching your little ones that they matter and are loved. Thank you to my Heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally and continues to take care of me and my family.  Happy Father’s Day to all the Single Parents everywhere!

 

Christmas is not my Favorite Holiday!

I loved Christmas growing up. Big family, big dinners and lots of presents; it was great! Undoubtedly , no expectations! You had to be good or else!

Growing up and moving away, getting married, divorced and becoming a single mom, whew….. life just happened! Your expectations change with each life role. Some are good and some just awful.

Let me explain.

As a single parent, life sucks! Especially when it comes to money. Not every every single parent gets help with raising their children or any household expenses. Most of the time, we work two or three jobs, try to go back to school to better ourselves and our situation or rely on our parents to help us make it through.

As any parent does, a single parent wants the best for their children, too. It just is a little bit harder to do when you can’t make ends meet. Bills come first and then I always have to decide between gas for my car and groceries. Sometimes I split it in half and pray, as God is my provider. Birthdays aren’t as hard because you’re only buying for one person. But at Christmas, you are buying for a bunch of people including your own children.

My kids had to find out early that Santa doesn’t bring all the presents. But that his spirit of gift-giving exists in all of us. I had them make Christmas lists in September and then chose, usually the least expensive things, to buy them.

They are young adults, but I still struggle. Just because your kids grow up, doesn’t mean your bills and responsibilities go away. They’re still there in great number and Christmas doesn’t go away either.

It’s an emotional time for me. I feel like a failure and inadequate as a parent. There have been times I bought Christmas presents with bill money and there have been times I paid the bills and not had very many Christmas presents. I realize it’s not about them and the way they feel, but about me and how I grew up and feel about myself. I wanted my one parent household (me) to look and feel like my two parent household (my parents).

I know my kids love me no matter what they get because they tell me. They know how hard I’ve struggled all these years because they tell me. I know they appreciate the life I have given to them because they don’t want to grow up. But the feeling of loss doesn’t go away with words or actions. You must grieve and then move on. You must allow yourself to feel the pain of what once was so that forgiveness and redemption can cover the loss. Then you can move on.

Even though Christmas isn’t my favorite holiday, I do have one! It is Thanksgiving because there are no expectations! I just bring the rolls!